Six minutes sounds short. It isn't. It's enough to find out whether someone is warm, curious and fun to talk to, which is all a first conversation needs to tell you. These tips are about making those minutes easy for both of you.
Before the evening
- Pick your bracket. Choose the evening your age falls in. You'll find it easier to connect with people at a similar stage of life. See all dates.
- Prepare three questions. One easy opener, one follow-up you can use on anything, one a little deeper. Our speed dating questions are a good place to start.
- Eat first. The first drink shouldn't do the talking.
- Wear something you've worn before. Comfort shows. See what to wear.
- Plan your trip home. One less thing to think about.
During each conversation
- Start with a smile and their name. It's on their name card. Use it.
- Skip "so, what do you do?". Everyone hears it twelve times. Ask about their week, their favourite part of Sydney, or the best thing they've eaten lately.
- Ask one follow-up. The second question is where people relax.
- Leave the last minute for them. If they haven't asked you anything, offer something about yourself.
- Jot a note after each one. A word or two on your card helps when you're deciding at the end.
What to avoid
- Exes, money and "why are you single?".
- Monologues. If you've talked for two minutes straight, hand it back.
- Checking your phone, even between rounds. It's away for the night.
- Writing anyone off in the first thirty seconds. Nerves fade by minute two.
Speed dating tips for women
- You stay seated at our evenings, so choose a comfortable spot and settle in.
- If someone makes you uncomfortable, tell the host, quietly or by catching their eye. You don't need to explain.
- Only your first name and email are shared, and only with mutual matches. Nobody gets your phone number.
- Tick anyone you'd happily talk to again, not only people you're sure about.
Speed dating tips for men
- You move one table along at each bell. Arrive at the next seat with a hello, not an apology for the last one running over.
- Be curious rather than impressive. Listening well is the most attractive thing in the room.
- Respect the bell. Finish your sentence and move.
- Same goes for you: tick anyone you'd like a second conversation with.
After the evening
Matches arrive by email at 9am. If you match, send a short, warm message within a day that mentions something you talked about, and suggest a simple first date. Our first date tips cover what comes next.
Quick answers
How do you stand out at speed dating?
Be relaxed and curious. Ask a better first question than "what do you do?", follow up on the answer, and make sure the other person gets to talk. People remember how a conversation felt.
How many people should you tick at speed dating?
Anyone you'd happily have one more conversation with. Ticking generously gives you the best chance of a mutual match.
What do you talk about at speed dating?
Easy, specific topics: their week, a favourite place in Sydney, food, weekends, travel. See our speed dating questions for 24 that work.
- Surry Hills, ages 28–38, Thursday 5 November at 7pm
- Newtown, ages 22–30, Tuesday 17 November at 7pm
- Bondi, ages 28–38, Tuesday 24 November at 7pm