The best first dates are short, easy to leave and easy to extend. You're not trying to decide whether this person is right for the rest of your life. You're deciding whether you'd like a second conversation. Everything below follows from that.
Before the date
- Pick somewhere public and easy to reach. Near a station is ideal. Tell a friend where you'll be.
- Keep it to about an hour. A coffee, a drink or a walk. Long dinners can wait for date two.
- Choose somewhere quiet enough to talk. Loud bars make every conversation harder.
- Plan one thing, leave room for a second. A walk that could turn into a drink is better than a booking you're locked into. Our first date ideas in Sydney are all built that way.
- Confirm on the day. A short, friendly message saves a lot of uncertainty.
During the date
- Arrive on time, phone away. Put it in your bag, not face down on the table.
- Ask, then follow up. One good question and a real follow-up beats ten quick ones. Try our first date questions.
- Share as much as you ask. Aim for roughly half and half.
- Skip the heavy topics. Exes, money and big life plans can wait.
- Be curious, not impressive. People remember how you made them feel, not what you told them about your job.
Ending the date
- Leave while it's still good. Ending on a high makes a second date easy to say yes to.
- Be clear and kind. If you'd like to see them again, say so. If you wouldn't, "It was lovely to meet you" is enough on the night.
- Sort out the bill simply. Offer to split or take turns. Don't make it a moment.
After the date
- Follow up within a day. A short message about something you talked about is better than a generic "had fun".
- If it's a no, say so kindly. A brief, honest message is better than silence.
- Don't overthink one date. Nerves make everyone a little less themselves. If you're unsure, a second date answers the question.
First date nerves
Nerves mean you care, and the other person almost certainly has them too. Eat beforehand, plan your route home, and give yourself something to do with your hands, like holding a coffee. Read how to feel less nervous before speed dating for more. Or skip the one-on-one pressure altogether: at a speed dating evening you have twelve short first dates in a row, and by the fourth you've forgotten to be nervous.
Quick answers
How long should a first date last?
About an hour is ideal. Long enough to get a feel for someone, short enough that it's easy to leave or easy to extend.
What's a good first date in Sydney?
Something you can walk through with an easy exit: a harbour walk, a ferry ride, a gallery, or coffee near a station. See our first date ideas in Sydney.
Who should pay on a first date?
Whatever feels fair to you both. Offering to split, or taking turns, is simple and avoids an awkward moment.
- Surry Hills, ages 28–38, Thursday 5 November at 7pm
- Newtown, ages 22–30, Tuesday 17 November at 7pm
- Bondi, ages 28–38, Tuesday 24 November at 7pm